The Spotlight.

This weekend was opening weekend of Pride and Prejudice. I was telling the hubs last night as we were coming home that I really don’t have much desire to be an actor or a professional performer of any kind, but man. It was so nice to be in the spotlight for two nights. I realize that that is super self-centered of me to say, but it felt like my four years of hard work at Emmanuel all culminated into the one moment where I walked out last, by myself, for curtain call. Not only did I feel the success of my performances, but I was aware of the other wonderful things I’ve accomplished while in college. I’m graduating Magna Cum Laude and president of Sigma Tau Delta and ODK, as well as a member of Alpha Chi and Pi Gamma Mu.

Then I got this email a few minutes ago. I’ve had a fairly rough day, both with my anxiety and my Sensory Processing Disorder (I think because it’s week two of tapering off the anxiety meds), so I was already feeling pretty bad about myself and just feeling weird anyway, but then I found out I got a D on an assignment in technical writing. In the comments, my professor told me he was disappointed because he’s given us a lot of time in class to work on this assignment, and he’s not wrong. However, no one in our group has been in class at the same time since we got this assignment. It’s our fault that our communication hasn’t been better…but I just feel like it’s unfair that he unloaded his disappointment onto me. I’m so dreading going into his class tomorrow because I can’t stand professors being disappointed in me.

Also, to defend myself further, this assignment was due on opening night of P&P, and the week I had to work on it was tech week where I got home after 11 PM every night. I shouldn’t use the play as an excuse, and I certainly didn’t bring it up to my professor, but I’m beyond exhausted and my emotions aren’t handling getting a somewhat undeserved D on that assignment. I’m trying to remember how wonderful I felt while taking my bows Saturday night, but it’s not coming to me right now. And now I’m have a lot of angry energy so I think I might clean our house.

On a happier note, the hubs and I have reconnected with our friends Ryan and Katie, and we’ve gotten into a little bit of a routine of hanging out together on Sunday evenings. We had such a good time eating pizza buffet and playing Spades (even though I suck as a partner). I hope that we’re able to keep hanging out with them, because they’re the only couple that we’re really friends with, and plus, they’re awesome.

Okay, I’m going to clean now and hope the vacuum doesn’t bother the hubs too much.

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