Hello all! I have to say, it’s been extremely lovely having told everyone that we’re expecting. All of the congratulations and advice and messages have been wonderful, but maybe most of all it’s just really nice not to have to hide it anymore!
I know a lot of people choose to announce their pregnancies as soon as they find out, and in some ways I wish I could have been that brave, but I think a mix of pragmatism and crippling anxiety prevented us from telling a lot of people. Looking back, I think it would have been nice to have a lot of people to talk to about what I was feeling, but also…nothing really went wrong in our first trimester. I think I’m more glad that we chose to keep our circle small in case something did go wrong. ANYWAY. I’m so happy to be in the second trimester. I can’t believe it’s already here! Symptoms time!
I finally have my appetite back! I feel a little like I’ve been eating nonstop to compensate for like two and a half months of not being able to stomach much. There are still some random things that sound gross to me–for some reason the thought of BBQ still makes my stomach turn a little bit. I really hope this isn’t a permanent thing because I LOVE Bar-H and pretty much any other BBQ. It’s really weird, because with those few exceptions, all food is just, like, extra good. Don’t get me wrong, I love food anyway, but maybe because I couldn’t eat much for a while all food is just like the most delicious stuff ever.
Like, yesterday I had Barberitos for lunch and it was like the best food I’d ever put in my mouth. I mean, I like Barberitos but never this much. And last night the same thing happened with dinner. It was just so good. I wanted to keep eating just because it was so delicious. Anyway, so this is a super nice change from the first trimester grossness.
As far as fatigue goes, I think I’m still getting tired a lot quicker than I would normally, and most days I really feel like I need a nap, but overall I feel like I have more energy to be able to go about my normal routine. I am, however, looking forward to downsizing how much stuff I do when the baby comes, and even after. I’ve always been a person that takes on too much, and I guess I’m a little excited that I’ll have a super valid reason to say no to things: I have a baby. That’s going to be so cool.
As I kind of predicted, now that I’ve entered the second trimester I certainly feel a lot less anxiety about actually miscarrying. I’ve had a very healthy pregnancy so far and my doctor has been super optimistic and encouraging, so I feel like that too! I’m still very anxious to hear a heartbeat/get an ultrasound, but that’s because I want to know that the baby is developing well, not to get reassurance that there actually is a baby in there. I feel like my worry has gone down to a much more normal level–I have the pretty average worries that I want a healthy baby with no problems or complications. But I also feel like that’s what every expectant mother wants, and I keep that worry at a really manageable level. I’m doing everything that I can do to have a healthy baby, so that’s all I can do. I feel okay with saying that anything that could possibly happen would not be in my control.
I also feel myself relaxing about some other things…especially what I’m eating. I used to be so terrified that even looking at deli meat or soft cheese was going to give me listeria, or letting the cat cuddle with me was going to give me toxoplasmosis. And while I’m not eating deli meat every day or changing the litter box, I’m also just not freaking out so much about it, especially about listeria. It’s pretty rare to contract listeria in pregnancy, so while I’m being careful, if they accidentally forget to hold the bleu cheese on my salad I’m not going to pick every single crumble out. In fact, the whole reason you’re advised not to eat soft cheese is because they’re sometimes made with unpasteurized dairy. The bleu cheese in the Wendy’s salad is definitely pasteurized and so is the feta in the Greek dressing. So no, I’m not going to eat unpasteurized anything, but also, sometimes a turkey sandwich just sounds really good so I just let myself eat it. It will almost definitely be okay.
All in all, I feel good and a lot more relaxed. Yay for reaching the second trimester milestone!