Y’all, I’m updating on time! WOAH!
So like, I feel pretty good. I get these little bursts of energy where I feel like I can get a lot done, and most of the time I end up being productive in some capacity. By the end of the day I still feel pretty exhausted, but because I’m able to get most of the things done during the day, I don’t have to stay up all night trying to get homework done.
I also got a Snoogle, and wow. Every pregnant woman needs one of these as far as I’m concerned. I’m not waking up with excruciating hip pain and I’ve actually slept through the night every night since I got it. I think Josh was somewhat skeptical of how effective it would be versus just a regular body pillow, and I’m telling you all right now that it is absolutely worth the money. There’s nothing worse than having an exhausting day and coming home and trying to sleep and not being able to because you’re so uncomfortable. I have not been paid to endorse Snoogle. I just really like it!
I’ve also got a little bit of a bump going on! I’m finally starting to feel justified in wearing all of my maternity clothes. It felt like forever that I was in this limbo stage where I couldn’t really wear my normal clothes but the maternity clothes didn’t really look right either, so I’m glad to be passed (past? For some reason I honestly don’t know which one is correct) that.
Besides feeling somewhat more tired than usual, I feel basically normal. The big belly I’m getting is making me feel…like, weird? I don’t know. It’s surreal. OH YEAH AND I THINK I FELT BABY KICKS YESTERDAY SO THAT WAS AWESOME! I probably should have opened with that but, you know.
In addition to feeling physically tired, I kind of feel emotionally tired too. I’m sure a combination of pregnancy hormones and regular feelings are making me feel extra drained, but I already feel kind of ready to go ahead and have this baby so we can move on to the next step. Obviously I have a ways to go, but 9 months is a long time. Josh and I were only engaged for 6 months and I thought I was going to pull my hair out at the end. Now we’ve added three whole months to the waiting game.
It’s disconcerting to have something so huge happening in my body and not really being able to see what’s going on. Like…when you break your leg or get surgery or something you have a cast or a would that’s healing to somehow alert you to the fact that something is going on. I just can’t wrap my mind around the fact that under a few inches of tissue there is a whole human life growing. It’s definitely one of the most surreal experiences I have ever had. Even when I feel kicks, like, I know that it’s probably the baby, but it honestly doesn’t feel that different than having gas; the only thing that’s different is the placement on my abdomen. Honestly if I don’t know I was pregnant I would probably mistake it for gas. So, like this miracle is happening but it feels like gas. It’s seriously so weird.
But overall I feel pretty good. I scheduled myself a therapy appointment for the end of April, just to have a third party to talk to about how crazy and irrational I get. I’m looking forward to it and I really think it’ll help me cope with the depression/anxiety, especially since I’m unmedicated for the foreseeable future.
We have our big anatomy scan scheduled for this coming Tuesday, so look forward to a gender announcement sometime in the near future!!!