Hmmmmm, what’s been going on this week. It’s been mostly in the mid-90s here, except for the temporary relief that rain brought, so my main objective has been trying to beat the heat. We’ve created something of an icebox in our bedroom: we have a window unit, and I also have a fan right by my side of the bed, so most of my time is spent trying to stay a comfortable temperature. I like my icebox. It’s a little pregnant-summer oasis.
The third-trimester fatigue also continues. It feels so much like the first trimester. Little tasks are starting to wear me out big time. I just did like, the minimum amount of cleaning possible today and I took a nap because I was so tired. Pretty pathetic I know, but I’m taking advantage of the baby-free time so I don’t feel too guilty. I’ve actually been so tired lately that I’ve been (except for pee breaks) sleeping through the night. I’ve been waking up really early the past few weeks, but I’ve been doing my best to go back to sleep. If and when I can get myself back to sleep, I can usually sleep until like 9, which is really nice. I’m savoring it.
I noticed today that my monster appetite seems to be oh-so slightly decreased. Around lunch time I was like, eh, I’m not ravenous and nothing really sounds good. I still ate something of course, but it was definitely different from how it’s been. I sort of felt the same way about dinner too. Like, I was hungry and I ate, but it wasn’t nearly as much as it has been the last few months. Maybe it’s just a random thing, or maybe my appetite is slowly starting to decrease. Time will tell.
Mostly I’m starting to get really really super excited. We have an ultrasound next week and I’m really excited about that, but also I can occasionally see like, the entire baby moving around in there, and it’s crazy because there’s an entirely formed baby in there, even if she still has a bit more growing to do. Like, if she came out right now she would like like a little baby. THAT’S SO NUTS! I have a baby shower coming up too and that’s got me excited as well. A lot is happening this month! Baby shower, ultrasound, hopefully closing on the house, and my 23rd birthday. After this month we’ll have all of August to prepare then our sweet baby will be here! I just really can’t believe it.
I still get very fearful sometimes that something is going to go wrong, but there’s just absolutely no reason for something to go wrong at this point. I’ve had such an easy (relatively speaking) pregnancy, which exactly zero complications. But she always moves well and meets her kick counts, and she always has a really strong heartbeat at every appointment. Rationally, I’m not worried. But today I was thinking about the only other time in my life where I’ve just had to sit around and wait for something: our engagement. That time is so similar, yet strikingly different from now.
During our engagement (after a rough two weeks), I never doubted that we would get married. I never had to worry about it. I knew it was going to happen because it was in my control to make it happen. The waiting was frustrating because I just wanted to be married already, not because I was worried it wouldn’t come to pass. Pregnancy is such a different kind of waiting for me. It’s so completely out of my control in a lot of ways. Like, if something were to go wrong, it really wouldn’t be my fault, and there wouldn’t be anything I could have done to prevent it. In some ways I feel like that should bring me comfort, but it’s mostly really frustrating. But I know nothing is going to go wrong, and in about 8 weeks we’re going to have a perfect little baby girl in our lives forever.
I’m really excited for the waiting to be over, and to trade my worries in pregnancy for the worries of being a parent. It’s weird, but I feel less worried about being a parent than I do about this pregnancy. I guess I’m just odd like that!
This one is for all you Jurassic Park fans: